Can you hear my sigh of relief? I feel like I have come out of my tunnel at the end of a long couple of months. There has been a lot going on in my life, some to share publicly and some to keep safe.

To really get the picture I need to return all the way to January 7th. I had just returned from the first weekend of the second course of my Masters. Within minutes of arriving home, I fell to my knees in the corner of my bedroom in uncontrollable tears. I felt as if I was watching my life crumble. This seems a bit dramatic looking back but at the time life felt so out of control I felt like I was collapsing under it’s weight.

On December 30th my husband awoke having what we now know was a panic attack, at the time we thought it was heart related. He went to the hospital in an ambulance and I followed shortly after. That day we were given very few answers but over the next weeks things started to become more clear as the panic continued. This is his story to share so I will not go into further detail, just know that if you haven’t dealt with panic or anxiety attacks it is a very real and scary thing.

The next week was spent trying to figure out what care and treatment was needed. On Friday January 6th I headed up to Nanaimo for my Masters course. I was in a bit of a daze, not knowing how to leave my husband when he needed my support but needing to be there for the course I had committed to. That was also the weekend I was introduced to every single assignment and paper I would need to be working on for that term. On a good day, the work load would have seemed overwhelming.

On January 7th, after the tears, I stood up and made the choice that I needed to reach out to anyone who could support us through this time. I needed to figure out how to be a supportive wife, a dedicated teacher, and a Masters student. This I could not have done without help.

Since that week I feel like I’ve lived a year… I have written what will become the first three chapters of my Masters thesis. I have learned more than I ever thought I would about what it means to be a loving partner.I have dealt with being evicted in a city with a 0.5% vacancy rate. I have chosen to dedicate my days at school to my students with my whole heart, while being able to leave at the end of the day and return to the other parts of my life. I have been a volleyball and track coach. I have given presentations. I have written report cards. I have been a mentor teacher to two practicum students.

I have survived and laughed and cried and loved.

When I say this has been one of the toughest periods of my life it is not without hesitation and thought. I know that many people struggle with things that seem far more enormous than my daily struggles lately. However other people’s mountains don’t diminish my own.

Today I feel strong and proud. There are many things that I let slip over the past few months but I held on to the things that matter.

As we head into these last two months of the school year I am confident that I have put as much into my classroom as was possible. I have no regrets about the things that matter. Yes, I hope to start working out and eating healthier again but there is a season for all things in this life. Yes, I am still on the hunt for a new home but whatever happens will be okay since we are lucky enough to be surrounded by family. Yes, there are uncertainties and struggles that lie ahead but there is strength and beauty there too.

Thank you for reading.
Our blog continues to hold a special place in my heart and I have many things that I want to continue to share.